Don’t ask your parents if they’re in a bad mood. Wait till later when they’ve cooled off. Don’t ask your parents if they’re rushed or in the middle of doing something else. Wait until you have their undivided attention.
Tell the truth. If there aren’t going to be parents or chaperones there, don’t lie. If they’re concerned about how late the event is, tell them you’ll go to bed early the next night to make up for it.
If you’re feeling ambitious, make a list of everyone who is going to be there and include their phone numbers. Hang the flier on the fridge so the information is easily available to your parents and so that it doesn’t get lost.
Don’t just come out and say, “Mom and Dad, can I go to this event?” Try saying something like, “Mom and Dad, I know you don’t usually let me go out late on a school night, and I understand and appreciate why. But it would mean a lot if you would consider letting me go this one time. ”
Make your offer very specific. Say something like, “If you let me go, I’ll do everyone’s laundry this week. ” If you make a promise to do something, actually do it. Otherwise, your parents will remember the next time you want a favor.
Your parents may be so impressed by this that they may offer to pay for the whole thing. If the event doesn’t cost money, offer to give your parents money for the gas they would use driving you there. They’ll appreciate how thoughtful the gesture is.
Make sure you plan it out so you’re asking at least a week in advance. Any later than that and your parents will feel rushed. Don’t ask too far ahead of time. This increases the chances that your parents might change their minds about letting you go.
If your parents don’t give a clear-cut reason as to why they’re saying no, dig a little deeper. You can’t change something if you don’t know what it is. If your parents say no again, accept it. If you make a big stink about it, they’re even less likely to say yes next time.
Go out of your way to be extra polite and helpful. They’ll notice and appreciate that you’re making an effort. Find opportunities to show that you’re ready for extra responsibility at home, like take out the garbage without your parents asking you to do it. The longer you can keep this up, the more your parents will see you as a grown up who they can count on.
Always pick up the phone when your parents call. You want to prove to them that they can easily get ahold of you if they give you more freedom. Same thing goes for texting. Answer as promptly as possible.
If you have a curfew, try coming home on time consistently. This will show your parents that you’re reliable. If your parents ask you to call and check in when you get somewhere, make sure you do this every time. The more trust you can build, the better.
If you’re looking for bonus points, make your parents a thank you card or get them a small gift to show your appreciation. If you’re going to someone’s house for the event, send them a thank you note as well.
Talk with your parents before going out. Ask them to remind you what’s expected of you, then write it down so you don’t forget. The more you can follow through on your promises and put them at ease during this event, the easier it will be for them to let you go next time.
Delete your browser history when searching for things online. If you use Facebook, change your settings so that you have to approve everything that gets posted about you. This way your friends can’t tag you in something that might get you trouble later. If you need to hide things, pick a good spot where your parents won’t find them. Your attic and basement are usually a safe bet.
