Spend some time alone thinking about your reasons for not wanting to move as well as what a move might be like. You may want to make notes of some of the things that you think of so that you can use them in your discussions with your parents later on.
Try saying something like, “I think I might feel better about moving if I knew why we had to do it. Could you please explain it to me?” Some common reasons why people move include a new job opportunity, financial difficulties, disliking a neighborhood, or the need or desire for a bigger (or smaller) home. [2] X Research source
Try saying something like, “I am really upset about the idea of moving. How do you feel about it?”
To make a pros and cons list, get two sheets of paper and draw a line down the center on each one. At the top center of the one sheet write “Stay” and at the top center of the other one write “Move. ” Then at the top of the left column of each sheet of paper, write “Pros. ” On the right side, write “Cons. ” After you have created these two sheets of paper, fill in the pros (positives) and cons (negatives) sides of each paper with as many reasons as you can. Be sure to include the pros and cons that you learned about in your conversations with your parents. Share the lists that you have created and invite your parents and siblings to add onto them so that they will be complete. Try posting the lists on the refrigerator or in some other high traffic area so that your family members can read through the reasons and add other reasons as well.
Research cheaper places to live, jobs in the area, or whatever it is motivating the move. Finances are often at the core of the decision to move. Consider how much longer you plan to live in that home (for example whether you’re finishing school within a few months or a few years). If you are less than a year away from being able to live on your own, then talk to your parents about delaying the move. Look into alternative strategies for keeping the residence. If your parents are interested in selling your family home and moving and you are independent. Renting or taking up residence can convert the residence into an income stream, though managing the property is often a difficult and expensive task and selling the property while not residing in it has tremendous tax implications.
Try writing down what you want to say first. Sometimes, getting your thoughts on the page first can help. When you practice, remember to stay calm and control your emotions. Avoid crying or getting angry. If you are worried that you might forget something, make notes for yourself on index cards.
For example, you might say something like, “I was hoping we could talk about something, but it might take a while. When would be a good time for both of you?”
Try wearing your best shirt with a pair of khakis or a dress that your mother picked out for you.
For example, you might say something like, “I appreciate how hard both of you work to give me a great life and I know that you made your decision with me in mind. ” Or, “I am so lucky to have parents who are successful and intelligent. I hope that you both know how much I appreciate you. ” Try to think about what your parents might want or need to hear from you.
If you feel yourself becoming emotional about something, don’t panic. Emotional displays can be helpful to an argument, but only in moderation. Emotional displays are also more effective if used near the end of your presentation. [10] X Research source For example, if you shed a few tears when talking about how upset you would be if you had to move away from your best friend, then that is okay. If you cry during most of your presentation, then that may work against you because your parents might interpret that as irrational behavior.
Try saying something like, “Thank you for listening to me. I understand if you need some time to think about what I have said. Please take your time and let me know when you want to talk again. ”
Demonstrate that you are listening by nodding your head, keeping good eye contact, and occasional making a neutral statement such as “yes,” “I see,” or “go on. ”[12] X Research source If one of your parents says something that does not make sense to you, try repeating what they have just said to allow them to clarify. For example, you might say, “It sounds like what you are saying is that moving is our best option, but that does not mean that it is going to be easy. Is that what you mean?”
For example, you might say something like, “If you are ready to talk, I was hoping that we could talk some more about the move. Is there any time this weekend that would work for you?”
Try to remember that the choice to move is not meant to make your life harder, it is most likely about making your life better.
