Disagreements might pop up when your team isn’t getting the support it needs. When you’re dealing with tiny budgets, super heavy workloads, or nonexistent work-life balances, tensions might run high—leading to even more conflict.
Disagree with your boss, for example? If they’re expecting more outputs than you can manage, for instance, you might butt heads. Poor communication can cause conflict. If you and a colleague both have great intentions but misunderstand each other, it can lead to fighting. Conflict can occur across teams, too. For instance, maybe your company’s sales team gets frustrated with missed deadlines by the engineering team. Finally, workplace conflict can also be more serious, and fall into the category of harassment or discrimination. This behavior isn’t okay, and if you notice it in your company, take action.
Personal fears might mean that you’re worried about job safety, daily discomfort, having little support, or how you get along with your teammates. Team fears revolve around your team’s success and outputs. You might be worried about how productive you are, losing solid teammates, or insufficient collaboration.
Collaborative: You listen to everyone and work to find win-wins. You’re likely to find the best path forward, but have to dedicate tons of energy to get there. When there’s a “winner” to any conflict, it means that there’s a loser and the conflict will continue. Usually, the best way forward is to keep both sides satisfied in a way. Competing: You doggedly advocate for your own opinion, and don’t consider others’. You find quick solutions, but might create more conflict. Compromising: You find a mutually agreeable path that requires sacrifice from all parties. You find acceptable solutions—but not the best ones. Accommodating: You agree with others’ take to maintain group harmony. You reduce conflict, but limit collaboration and create power imbalances. Avoidant: You withdraw from conflict until it’s solved without you. This reduces innovation and takes away your voice, but helps keep the peace.
Before doing anything, check if the company has a protocol or an employee’s manual in place to know how exactly to deal with the situation at hand. Be proactive. Speak up when you have an issue, and take your time when making decisions. When workplace issues are left to fester, oftentimes, they’ll just get worse with time. Not only does a straightforward approach save trouble down the line, but it’ll help show your team that you value honesty and mutual respect.
Challenge negative thoughts when they pop up: “I have a unique outlook, and my thoughts will help this team. ” Avoid catastrophizing: “Just because I’m dealing with a little conflict doesn’t mean my boss hates me or I’m going to get fired. Everything will be okay!” If you know you struggle with conflict, try to get outside help. Ask your boss for conflict management training courses, for example.
Write down the key points that are most important to cover while you talk and look them over beforehand. If it makes you feel better, consider practicing in the mirror. Watch your expressions, and aim to stay civil and non-aggressive. Or, try prepping with an outside connection. Ask a friend to tell you whether you come off as calm and thoughtful while speaking.
Let’s say you’re concerned that your colleague isn’t communicative enough while you two are handling a specific project. You might want to avoid expressing that like this: “It really bothers me when you’re hard to reach. I just don’t like it at all. ” Rather, try to focus on concrete effects: “I’ve noticed that, due to ineffective communication, we have less time to finish our projects. ” Make sure to politely express your interest to the individual about your desire to have a conversation with them surrounding the conflict. Recognize and honor both of your perception and feelings to find a way to honor and validate both feelings Listening to their perception of the conflict first will usually lead to a better conversation, setting the example for how you want to also be listened to and creating a better environment for discussion.
Maybe your boss tends to overlook your accomplishments. At an appropriate time, you could express this in a levelheaded way. Avoid over-exaggerating with absolute terms: “You never listen to me and you always take my colleagues’ sides. ” Try softening your delivery: “I’ve noticed that sometimes, my ideas seem to be overlooked. Can we talk about that?”
One way an outside resource might help is through facilitating team-building exercises. Visit a corporate retreat site or bring in an instructor to teach you how to handle conflict in a healthy way—your company culture will be rewarded for it!
The more ideas your team is willing to bring to the table, the higher likelihood you’ll land on an amazing solution. Plus, if your team is willing to be honest, that says a lot about your workplace culture. They trust you enough to share openly!
Make sure that overworking isn’t the root cause of the issue. If your team tells you that they’re exhausted or stretched thin, work to create a manageable load. Set clear communication guidelines for brainstorm sessions and meetings. That way, your employees know what’s expected of them in order to keep things civil. Having a company handbook to deal with different situations is usually the best idea.
For leaders: You have the power to improve your workplace. Though it might be stressful, fire toxic team members who create instability for everyone else and try to take matters into your own hands. For employees: If you’re not in a position of power, your best move might be to change organizations and move on to greener (healthier!) corporate pastures.
